Cameron's Pressure
by hochmodel
Summary: Cameron is having a hard time at home. David Bowie and Queen help him let it out. I do not own the song, nor the characters.


**Mm ba ba de Um bum ba de Um bu bu bum da de**

The bass line filled the department store. Ferris, Sloane, and I were….ugh…._shopping. _She had insisted on getting a new jacket on our way to the movies. Ferris grudgingly let her, and he dragged me with them when he knew I would be _so_ much happier in the car. Some song by Queen was playing. Stupid old-fashioned people.

**Pressure pushing down on me Pressing down on you no man ask for  
Under pressure - that burns a building down Splits a family in two  
Puts people on streets**

Pressure? That's a weird theme for a song. I mean, it is correct, so many of us are under so much pressure, to get into college, to get good grades, be the star athlete, be beautiful, be popular, be _absolutely freakin' perfect and not expect anything from him other than insults and demands and just because he hates and neglects my mother and me all for his motherfuc-_

**Um ba ba be Um ba ba be De day da Ee day da - that's o.k.**

"Cameron, what do you think of this one?" Sloane held up a white jacket with fringe. Shaking off my previous thought, I responded with the typical Yes, it looks great on you, Yes you should get it, and Ok, we can continue looking around.

**It's the terror of knowing What the world is about  
Watching some good friends Screaming 'Let me out'  
Pray tomorrow - gets me higher Pressure on people - people on streets**

What_ is_ this whole world about? People trying to live up to standards that others have set for us? If you want to be considered smart, then you have to answer every single freakin' question thrown your way correctly. If you want to be beautiful, then you have the perfect height, perfect face, perfect skin….

If you want to be loved, you can't say a word about your feelings, who you are as a person. You have to be a doormat, and let people, say, your DAD for example, push you around, call you names…and _you, _of course, cannot say a word.

That's not really love, but it is the closest thing I've got.

Has Ferris ever seen me like that? As the friend screaming his heart out "LET ME GO! I'M DONE HERE! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! LET ME OUT! PLEASE!"

**Day day de mm hm Da da da ba ba O.k.**

"Cameron?"

**Chippin' around - kick my brains around the floor  
These are the days it never rains but it pours**

How many times have I shoved my fists into my walls and kicked my door? How many times have I pulled my hair out, or torn my room up in frustration?

**Ee do ba be Ee da ba ba ba Um bo bo Be lap People on streets - ee da de da de  
People on streets - ee da de da de da de da**

"Cameron? Are you okay?"

"Cameron, answer him."

**It's the terror of knowing What this world is about Watching some good friends  
Screaming 'Let me out' Pray tomorrow - gets me higher high high  
Pressure on people - people on streets**

Come on, someone has to hear me screaming! Someone has to hear the pain I go through everyday, whenever I wake up to _him _and get a cold glare, then he sees his _car_, and he _smiles, _or his freakin' rich house, or anything but his damn _kid!_

I'm under so much pressure! The pressure of suppressing everything. The pressure of not saying a word as he yells and slaps my mom, or as he screams at me….even though I did everything right, I am just not good enough. I am worthless, spineless, pitiful, pathetic…

**Turned away from it all like a blind man Sat on a fence but it don't work  
Keep coming up with love but it's so slashed and torn  
Why - why - why ? Love love love love love  
Insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking**

"CAMERON!" Sloane hollars.

"Hm?"

"You okay man?" Ferris asks, a concerned look on his face.

"Yeah, just got lost in my thoughts." I didn't bother smiling, these kids knew I was seriously messed up.

"But I gotta ask Ferris, why don't you ever say anything?"

**Can't we give ourselves one more chance  
Why can't we give love that one more chance  
Why can't we give love give love give love give love  
give love give love give love give love give love**

Love. I loathe the very word. It makes me cringe. I know it would never be mine. I never had a girlfriend, my father hates me, my mother resents me, I'm all alone in this world.

Love can't be mine. No one _really _loves me. I'm alone.

**'Cause love's such an old fashioned word And love dares you to care for  
The people on the edge of the night And loves dares you to change our way of  
Caring about ourselves **

Yeah dad, like you will change. You will just keep caring about your CAR! Not the woman you married, not the son you helped conceive, but a cruddy piece of metal. Not the woman who is on the verge of suicide, not the boy who has been crippled since birth, but a dead, fast, piece of metal!

**This is our last dance**

"Cameron? What do you mean?"

**This is ourselves**

I just couldn't keep it in anymore. The pressure finally cracked me.

**Under Pressure**

"Cameron!" Sloane said, as she enveloped me in a hug. I sobbed into her shoulder, as I felt Ferris wrap himself around us.

"Oh my gosh, Cameron, what's wrong? What happened?" I just shook my head.

**Under Pressure**

Ferris finally spoke up.

"It'll be okay, man. It'll be okay."

**Pressure**


End file.
